1. Improve your “user experience” with eye-catching techniques like the scrolling marquee and the blink tag
Deprecated schmeprecated! These IE tag gems were innovation in user experience before the words “user experience” even came into fashion.
2. Declare your page as “under construction”
Why profess your website as “totally, 100% done” and subject yourself to needless, ego-destroying criticism? Instead, slap an under construction GIF on it and call it a day! (Bonus points for including the little man with a shovel.) Early 2000s version: Follow GMail’s lead, call it “beta,” and achieve the same results.
3. Encourage users to sign your guestbook
There’s a real problem with today’s internet: We’ve all been reduced to numbers. Use the tried and true website guestbook to learn who your users really are through their personal messages sent directly to and for you. Learn about Pauline, who is concerned that your website is missing out on at least 300 visitors per day and can improve your SEO for only $99 a month. Good ol’ Pauline!
4. The website counter
Your need for Google Analytics diminishes the second you install one of these babies on your website. Available in a wide variety of colors, fonts, and sizes on white backgrounds to
clash horribly stand out on your website.
5. Join a web ring
A magnificent paradigm of the late-90s internet. People nowadays ramble on and on about needing to increase links for SEO … when the obvious answers is to look to our cyberancestors’ wisdom and join a friggin’ web ring already.